The Documented Life

OK, you guys have heard me talk about my Cheap Thoughts Journals before (I swear, you have). This year, Kelly and I decided to do The Documented Life project. They use a particular planner for it, a Moleskine weekly 12-month planner. A page is tipped in (the instructions call for 140lb watercolor paper, but I used Stonehenge printmaking paper, like always).

They're tipped in iwith washi tape. (Which doesn't hold all that well, if we're being honest.)

Here is one of my weeks. On the left is the actually planner ptage. I don't really have appointments, and I don't actually keep a paper calendar (I'm a Geek, I use Google Calendar for that). But I thought it would be a good place for some of my Project 365 pictures, and some of the graphic stuff I design, and the scrapbook pages I do for Sweet Digi Scraps.

I tried it for about a week. I went back and filled in the whole month of January with pictures and little stories from my weeks, etc. I named it James. I carried it everywhere. And I hate it. One spread for a whole week? Plus, I hate those tip in pages. "Treat it like an art journal page" is what everyone says. The problem is that I don't "art" and "CTJ" in the same place. I used to keep noted and lists and things in bewteen art pages in my first Moleskines and then I just glued those pages together. But I haven't really done that in several years, and I don't have that need that some people seem to that says I have to keep everything in one journal.

So I broke up with James and moved on (quickly, because I'm a bitch like that) to this red Moleskine sketchbook that my friend Maggie sent me for my birthday.

I painted the new one and the name Abby is in my head for her, but we'll see if it sticks. I do tend to go with the first thing that pops into my head, so it's likely. I painted it green and of course I put my face on it.

And here is the first spread, with a tip in for the week. I sprayed every page already, so there will be some color in the background. There is some writing in the background, too - just notes I jotted when I was on the phone. Pictures that are just bits of things from my week. Actually, it's only a couple of days because it's supposed to start February first (which is not the beginning of a week).

So far I like it, but I guess we'll see!

Wait for me

I'm not really a collager, but I've been feeling sort of "stuck" with my journals lately. It's so crazy because sometimes I journal every day and it's just paint or drawings, but lately it's been mostly just words spilling out everywhere.

I joined The Artstronauts Club and Mindy Lacefield posted a video - it's just her playing in her journal, no talking, no teaching - and it was just the push I needed to pick up the paintbrush and start playing. So I did.

I painted over the attempt I made at a Mindy style face - I just can't paint like her. 

So I painted happy instead!

I was just going to put the words "wait for me, I'm coming" but when I started writing, I felt the need to add the "I'm worth it" and so I did...

Cloudy Day

I've been experimenting a lot lately with started with a prepped page. Now, I have zero fear of the blank page (sorry for everyone who is scared of it!), but I think this adds a lot more depth to the page. I could be wrong, but it's making me happy lately. This page was (obviously) pink, orange, and a little vanilla. I drew her with pink pen and journaled in her hair.

I didn't intend on covering up all of the journaling, but that's how it worked out and I LOVE the finished page. The blue drippy water was the last thing I did, and I wasn't sure if I liked it at first, but I really do!

A little closer up of her face:

Affirmation

I kind of am, but if I keep telling myself that I'm not, maybe I won't be!

Full spread:

I Matter

A lot of time these days, I feel like "EVERYTHING MATTERS!!" and then "nothing matters, why the fuck do I even bother?" I was having a "nothing matters" kind of day and I said that on Facebook - that I was having a day where I feel like nothing matters. Effy Wild said two extremely powerful words to me: You matter.


I don't always agree. I make zero difference in the world, in society. Yes, I have a child and I make a difference to him, obviously. But to relegate my life to ONLY being important because I'm a mother is not OK. I don't have to know WHY I matter, I am just going to keep reminding myself that I do. I matter. YOU matter. We matter.

Her face is messy and imperfect, but I really like how she came out:

All finished:

Find Your Tribe

I haven't mentioned it (because I haven't been blogging), but I'm moving to New York. Soon. Our move-in date is August 19th.

You see, I have a tribe - online. Definitely. I've made IRL friends from online friends. But picture this: it's Christmas. My three-year-old opens presents on Skype with his grandparents. Then Tim goes to work and since we only had one car, the three-year-old and I are sitting home alone. Sure, we sled for a little while, we drink hot chocolate. And that's Christmas.

Now, picture this: I'm three years old. The youngest person in my family (yes, I'm the youngest member of my generation of the fam), I have a brother, six cousins, two aunts, three uncles. We're at a two-family house in the Bronx, both parts of the house owned by my family (grandpa and his brother). Auntie and Uncle Will have three boys, but none of them had kids yet, so it was just an additional six adults. Grandma has a little stocking hanging on the (fake) fireplace mantel for each of us with foil-wrapped chocolate Santas in them. White Christmas is playing on the TV, but no one is watching it. Jack Gleason is playing on the stereo and all the adults are complaining. The kids are all playing in the cellar (basement). There's more food than we could possibly eat in a lifetime. It's chaos. Insanity. Did I mention that the house is a one-bedroom?

That's missing from my son's life. The chaos of cousins and family and loud, crazy holidays. It's missing from MY life. Losing Tami made me realize how isolated I've been. How alone. I've been in Minnesota five years and made ONE friend. Don't get me wrong - when I make friends, I REALLY make friends. Kelly will be a part of my life forever. Her family is filled with amazing people who accepted my family without question. But my tribe, my people, my comfort zone? It's New York. I don't even know how to explain it, other than to say it's like being wound up ALL THE TIME. All the time. And then suddenly being able to relax. To breathe. To sleep. It's home.

Stupid Happy

This is just in my Cheap Thoughts Journal. I was talking on the phone and doodling. I mentioned to Kelly how something made me "stupid happy" and she decided she wanted to be stupid happy, too!

I drew/doodled this with a black glaze pen - zero forgiveness there. If you've never tried drawing with something you can't erase, I wish you would! It's fun and see how stupid my little bee is? And the flower petals are all silly? Nobody cares! Not even me!!

Then I colored them in with these smelly glittery gel pens I have. They're good times!

Journal!

OK, I admit it, it's two journals!! Blick's was having a sale or something and I got a lot of paper. I couldn't resist! I think I like square journals better than rectangular ones. I'm not sure. You know me, I'm the pickiest journaler ever. I'm going to try working in a couple of 8x8 journals for a while and see if I love them or not.

So I tore:

And folded:

And poked holes:

And stitched!

Face

So many times in my journal I just draw a face, shade it a little, and let it be. Is this face "finished"? I guess not, but I'm done with it!

Back to my first love: Moleskine!

I haven't been journaling lately, I have no excuse for why. Just haven't really felt like it. But getting back to Moley felt REALLY good! The color is Faber Castell gel sticks (NOT the gelatos). Suzi got them for me and I really like the way they feel when they're dry! They're matte, which I really like, and the color doesn't rub off, like watercolors can tend to do. So I'm happy! 

Here she is with the detail added back in after painting:

And some journaling on top (bad picture!):

September Soul Garden

For June, July, and August I used patterned scrapbook papers as the "base" for my planners. I might have already told you I'm using a sketchbook this month and so far, I LOVE it. Here is my September page:

 I wanted to experiment with backgrounds, so this one was lightly sprayed with alcohol ink:

This one completely blank:

And this one covered with papers:

So far, my favorite is the sprayed background underneath the notecards. I'm having LOTS of fun this month!

Watercolor Pages, again

OK, so I got some artist's tape in 1/4 inch (Suzi bought it for me) and tried again. They came out MUCH better! These ones are watercolor:

 These are alcohol inks:

 The only problem now is I don't really like trying to FORCE myself to use them. It feels like what I was doing with cartooning. I know a lot of artists say that they had to force themselves to sketch every day before it became fun. (OK, most of them say "a joy", which is something I will NEVER say.) But I already have to force myself to do things. Study. Cook. Clean. How many things in a day should I hate and make myself do anyway? And should art be one of them? I guess it should if it's something I want to get better at, but for now I'm just going to hang on to these pages and maybe use them when I go to Florida as a travel journal.

September

It's a new month. Lots of "stuff" going on, lots of stuff to do, lots of thoughts in my head. So, this is the first page in my new Soul Garden planner. She makes me SO happy, but I was totally terrified to add color to her. Usually color is the part where I fuck everything up. But really, what's the worst that could happen?

I inked the flowers but not the face, then shaded her with prismacolors.

This is the part where I really hesitated. I carried her from couch to table to couch to table almost all day before I finally decided to add color to the flowers. I'm REALLY BAD at knowing what colors "go" together, so I just picked some random ones and went for it. They don't look bad. Maybe not awesome, but not awful.

When she was all done, I added watercolor around her. Since it's not watercolor paper, they don't act quite right, but I'm still really liking her!

Then a little stamping and Sharpie pens.

See those green spots? NO IDEA how they got there. I haven't used any paint that color today. 

You Suck Monday - Watercolor Pages

This Monday SUCKED. I mean, it just all-around was yuck-o-rama. Just like You Suck Monday is supposed to be, so I blogged this over there, too. 

Here is what I worked on, art-wise. I saw this great magazine article about this journal this chick keeps (I have no idea what her name is, if I find out, I'll let you know) and with a little prodding from Suzi, I decided to try it. Got a new journal - Strathmore Mixed Media XL. Not good for watercolors, as I learned on Monday.

Not only did the pages warp and buckle, the paints don't act like they're supposed to on NON watercolor paper. They just don't. Sure, you can watercolor in your journal if you really want to, but the paints just sort of soak into the paper and don't mix and blend like they're supposed to. Still, I pressed on - we're just talking background, first layer, type of stuff. It might still be just fine.

I tried a different type of paper. My beloved Stonehenge. But I didn't like how wide the (special, $8 artist low-tack) tape was that I was using. So I tried some thinner tape that I have for quilting. And I like the size of the lines a LOT better. However, it didn't quite pull away from the paper like I'd hoped.

This was the best side of the day. However, it is the reverse of the one above and ended up in the trash. Sigh.

Here was my setup - all the watercolors I could find (OK, I actually have another set or two...).

I'm not giving up on this, I'm totally determined to figure it out! Maybe I'll go back and figure out who the artist is and she can help me!! Stay tuned...

Birthday Watercolors

I guess I like them. Sort of. I like the transparency of them, anyway. This is just some pen doodles and silliness. You can zoom in - those are song lyrics, not my heart pouring out onto the page. Well, it's a song that totally touches my heart, so maybe I'm wrong!  So, some people say there's no difference between the super cheap watercolors and the expensive ones. I have to say that the expensive ones are a LOT more vibrant.

But my little set didn't come with face colors so I went back to the cheapies for that. And yes, I know her mouth is funny-looking, but it was pen so there was no saving it. I decided not to stress over it. 

Finished. Love it. Oh, see how the yellow leaked over into the blue? Don't care!