YSM - Make Your Own Gesso

All right, it's simply white glue, water, and baby powder. It smells pretty good, but other than that, it's crap.

It's SUPER thick, but not in a paste-y kind of way. Sort of like it's dry in the middle and just covered with something wet. That doesn't make any sense, but it's how it seems. Like you have to "punch" through to get it on the brush, and then when you brush it on something you have to push really hard to get it on the substrate.

I tried it first on book paper, just so see how it reacted to paper. It was OK, it went on fine, but it's a very strange texture. Write on it was like writing on sandpaper - it worked, but if you were to blow on it the pencil lines it comes off because it's mostly just dust.

I painted her with watercolors and it was HORRIBLE. The "gesso" isn't permanent because I used elmer's glue so the water kept activating it and making a big, smeary mess.

This was through a stencil, obviously. on Stonehenge printmaking paper. The gesso activated the alcohol inks that were on the stencil, which surprised me because alcohol inks are permanent, but that's why it's blue.

Theoretically I was going to do a gesso resist, but it was REALLY thick, and it didn't resist AT ALL. Yuck.

The prismacolors over it were horrible, also. Trying to blend them made the stuff flake off in chunks.

Theoretically, I was going to show you the same techniques using store-bought gesso and my gesso. I really, really, REALLY wanted my gesso to work! But since it didn't, here is a couple of the same techniques with Liquitex gesso.

This is the gesso over book paper. The prismacolors still don't work very well, but it's a MILLION times better than the stuff I made. It's a lot thinner, dries practically instantly, held on to the graphite, and even let me erase a little when I tried it.

This is on Stonehenge printmaking paper, through a different stencil. This is a resist. Gesso first, through the stencil, then paint, then a little water, then rubbed with a towel and voila! It came out pretty cool.

So, the verdict is: homemade gesso is fine if you want to add texture, but not so much just for surface prep. Don't use Elmer's glue because it's not permanent. For me? I hate all gesso and just use plain white paint when I have a need for covering things up! 

Decisions, decisions

Do I like journaling like this? I think I might. Draw something, doodle something, make a little list - and glue it in there. It's something Suzi is teaching us to do in the Fairies class and I'm really enjoying it! But I find myself drawing less than I used to. I used to draw every day. Every single day. Gotta get back to that. 

And yes, Kelly really DID say that.

I'll never reach my destination

if I never try. One of my favorite songs.

Kindness

It's something I need to work on. Like with my thoughts, not outwardly. I give the appearance of being kind. But sometimes I have ugly, mean, rude thoughts. There are two quotes that I absolutely LOVE about kindness:

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be  kind."    - Henry James


"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."   - Philo of Alexandria

And now I'm going to give you an example of the need for kindness. I have (often) seen someone park in a handicapped space, climb out of their car, and stroll into Wal-Mart. In my head I'm thinking "That asshole doesn't look handicapped to me!" Now, of course, there will always be someone who takes advantage of a situation. BUT: I have a friend. One who "doesn't look handicapped". Yet when she walks or stands for long periods of time, her bones fracture. I'm not exaggerating. They literally fracture. Break. Crack. From walking. 


Sometimes, she and I go on SHORT outings. We go to Target to buy birthday gifts. We go art supply shopping. She has a tag that she hangs on her rearview mirror so that IF SHE NEEDS TO, she can park in a handicapped space. She doesn't always need to, and she doesn't LIKE TO. She HATES it. I had to TALK HER INTO renewing the tag last time it expired. She knows people look at her and think "That chick doesn't look handicapped." She has overheard people make nasty comments about it to their companions. It's so ridiculously easy to judge people, isn't it? Why, why, why are we so suspicious of people? Why am I so suspicious of people? I want to think the best of them from this day forward. Can I? Probably not always, and not immediately. But I'm going to make an effort. 

This page looks a lot better in person, I swear! 

Ideal Bedroom

I am in love with this color scheme. I know it's a little odd, and lots of times I see gray with blur and red instead of brown, but I'm not a huge fan of gray and my bedroom furniture is beautiful and brown. So, keeping it as the central color, I'd like the walls to be a nice, peaceful, gorgeous blue and then red accents. Lamp shades or lamps, or maybe even light fixtures? I don't know, I just really like these colors and want them for my bedroom. BUT I don't want them for the whole house. I like each room to have its own identity, and the peace I want to feel in my bedroom is not the joy I want to feel when I'm having dinner in the dining with my friends and family, or the playfulness I want to feel on Movie Night with my son in the living room. 

Here is more about my ideal bedroom:

The blue is a list of things I can do NOW. Why wait until all of the steps can be taken? Why not take a little step or two and see where it goes? That's what Suzi is teaching me in the Fairies class. 

Change is good...or bad...or good

Something that's been bothering me for a long time is the feeling so many people have of "I wish I could be like that". They wish they were faster, slower, better. Now, there are certainly things that we can aspire to. I'd like to be a bit thinner. This is something I can accomplish. But taller? That's not going to happen so it's not something I think about. I'm not short, I'm just Goog.

So many people think "I suck because..." instead of "I'm awesome because..." So what if you're a procrastinator? Accept it, figure out how to live with it, stop whining about it, and don't expect me to relate - I'm not a procrastinator. So what if you're OCD about where the bathroom towels hang? Accept it, try not to drive other people crazy with it (because my bathroom towel racks are empty, I gotta tell ya), live with it, but again, don't expect me to relate.

To some extent, we are who we are. Change is always possible, but it's not always NECESSARY. Would you still like me if you knew I was wearing a twelve-year-old paint-spattered ragged hoodie and a pair of workout pants? You will say "Of course!" in your head. If you came to my door and saw me in it? Maybe you'd give me a funny look. If you saw me in public? You'd probably be glad you weren't my friend. Guess what? I don't care. I'm not a different person whether or not YOU like me. I'm exactly the same, inside AND out.

You don't need to acquire a taste for things you don't like - and I don't just mean broccoli or beer. I mean people and places and things. You don't have to like abstract art just because someone else is willing to pay a million dollars for a splat of red paint on a canvas. You don't have to stop drinking chocolate milk just because you're an adult. My husband and I are the only parents who follow our son down the slides at the park and sometimes we'll swing while he's running around - who doesn't like to swing? I prefer going to the movies alone. I like to sit and study at Barnes & Noble with my headphones blasting so I don't have to listen to people. I don't really like to be touched, so if you accidently brush against me I'm probably going to jerk away. NONE of these things REQUIRES change. Why is OK for you to randomly touch me? Why should I have to listen to you chewing at Barnes & Noble? Why shouldn't I swing? Why can't I go to the movies alone?

PanPastel Portrait...

Mine doesn't look like Pam Carriker's...

I cut out the face and glued it into my Butterfly journal. Everything except the face and neck is paper..