Ugly art

As you can clearly see from previous posts, I have no problem showing the world (OK, the 18 people who follow this blog...) my ugly art. My art is not me and I am not my art - ugly or otherwise. But this piece I'm going to show you really bothers me. I really, really hate it. Kelly things it's because I drew her on You Suck Monday, but it's Wednesday and I've worked on her for a couple of days now and I still think she's horrible. But I kind of like the process and where I went with her. Strange, I know. I'm very complicated in my neuroses.So, here we have her. I feel like the shape of her head in the back (left side as we're looking at her) isn't right. There should be more head. After playing with it for several hours, I gave up. I journaled on her, just about what I was feeling at the moment.
Slapped on a little paint. Instead of glaze, I used matte medium. I don't really like things to be super shiny, and I wasn't sure if I was done journaling on her. Went back in with the pencil (just a plain Papermate pencil) and redefined the lines a little.Here I added a little paint to her eyes and lips and also some smudgy charcoal pencil. I think the smudges are her only redeeming quality - I really like that part.The lips were crazy bright, so I added a darker color and some more charcoal because I was having fun with it. Then I realized (with the help of a friend) that her nose was a little too curved, too far to the right, so I painted over it and attempted to "fix" it. I think it looks worse now, but I refused to give up on her and chose to just live with it.Here I've added some journaling to her hair (a bit about You Suck Monday) and I doodled in her eyes a little. My girls' eyes always seem a bit dead to me and I'm king of not sure what to do about it. Maybe she needs those little white "reflection" spots. I could try adding those.I sneezed while taking this picture and started cracking up. Have you ever been in a room completely alone and just laughing hysterically at yourself? I do it all the time! No one else would see this as funny, but I was totally amused so I'm sharing it with you. Here you can sort of see the stars I added to the background I used three different blue pens just for my own amusement. You can only sort of see them on there, which is what I wanted. You see, the stars are always there, even when we can't see them. Even during the day, even on the cloudiest of nights.
And so she's finished. While I still don't feel like she's anything to be proud if you just give her a glance, she is the first page in my new journal and I'll remember every time that I look at her that I didn't give up on her. I think that's something to be proud of.