Tuesday, February 21, 2012


I'm totally freaked out by dentists, so I don't go. Ever. Except when I break a tooth. I ignore them when they hurt, I've had giant pus bubbles under my gums and just popped them myself. The ONLY thing that ever brings me to the dentist is a broken tooth. I broke one two weeks ago, the one right there in my x-ray:

It was a huge, gaping hole. Gigantic. But not down to the nerve so it didn't hurt at all. Still, it seemed like a problem I needed to have taken care of, so I did. Are you proud? And you know what, going to the dentist wasn't fun but it made me feel a little bit less like a second-class citizen. I've never had health insurance. Not ever. When I was a child, I went to the doctor twice for vaccinations and to the ER twice because they'll see you without insurance. There were NO "well-child" checkups in my household. A cold, the flu, whatever illnesses we had, we fought off at home. I remember being sick the entire summer between seventh and eight grade. I couldn't say two words without coughing in between. I had reduced lunch at school, wore second-hand clothes. It wasn't something I felt bad about, it was just my life. My friends lived at houses with pools, while we lived without central air conditioning in south Florida, and my brothers slept in the garage because we had six people and only two bedrooms. I want to change these things for my child. Right now, we live in an apartment, my husband supports us all but we have no health coverage. My son is clothed and fed, and we hit the occasional movie, but I want more. I want to be a two-income, two-car, solid middle-class family. I don't want to wish we were just a tiny bit worse off so he could have health coverage and free day care. I want to be SOLID. I'll get there. I'm giving us two years. In two years I want to be in a better place. A more solid place. For my son.

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