Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Only Human

Sometimes I get caught up in people's expectations. I "have to" do this, go there, be whatever. Not lately. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, changed for me when Tami died. I am only one person. I have thoughts and feelings and they are valid and they matter. I left a family party abruptly on 8/25 - it was exactly five months since I lost my friend, I was at a cousin's house who I called when their dog died and who didn't reach out to me at all when my friend did, and I'd been there for three and a half hours. I left without saying good bye, without saying thank you...I just left. And it's OK. It's totally fine. I don't even care what they think. I needed to leave and I did. I needed to curl up on the couch and cry and watch the white butterflies outside my window and I did. I needed to journal and I did. No one has to understand me or my life or my grief. No one has to accept it. They can be angry, think I'm "wrong", think whatever they want. I can't care. I just can't. I am getting through one day, one hour, one minute at a time and it's OK.


  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

    I love this -> "No on has to understand me or my life or my grief. No one has to accept it."

    That's so effing awesome! I wish I could just wear that as a sign on my now flat chest.


    1. Thank you Rynna. I'm so sorry I haven't even asked how you've been lately. I hope you're doing well!

  2. DAMN right! if support isn't there, it's time to quit hoping for it. Cry, scream, defriend people who aren't friends anyway, art it out, write it out, talk to Tami, yell at Tami. You GO gurl!